A change will come.
Since last writing, I tried and failed to move away from social media. It lasted a week, maybe two, before I resumed doom-scrolling (and compulsive sharing). It’s cathartic to repost information about how truly terrible things are right now, but I don’t know how helpful it really is. In my brain I’m saying, “See? Can’t you see how bad things are out here? Are you ready to jump in and start fighting yet?” or worse: “Look at this! Is this what you voted for? Or are you ready to finally admit you fucked up?” This line of thinking isn’t the most productive or healthiest, to be sure. We can act bold online, we can let our disdain for the other side be stoked within our echo chambers, but what we really need is to speak words, (face to face when possible) with one another. There’s an amazing article on that artful skill here: I (accidentally) went undercover to debate a Trumper, and this is how I cracked him (in 10 steps)
This Saturday I volunteered to knock on doors and ask Democrats in my area what political issues are weighing on their hearts and minds in this moment. This doozy of a conversation starter was meant as a way to move people from a place of fear, anger and/or helplessness into action, offering an opportunity to join the coalition of volunteers in my community. It was hot outside and a lot of people didn’t come to the door. To be honest it felt largely unsuccessful, not to mention my family was at the beach while I was nervously skirting past MAGA signs with my clipboard in hand. I did have a good conversation with a couple who expressed shared dread about our media culture and the massive political divide. “It didn’t used to be this way, you used to be able to talk with someone who voted differently than you,” the husband said.
I think what has made it hard to step away from social media completely is the immediacy of the information I can access in the palm of my hand and the feeling that I’m seeing stories that don’t make it to legacy media: horrific ICE arrests captured on cell phones, what to do if you witness an unidentified officer taking someone off the street, hilarious and/or poignant protest signs, heartwarming pick-me-ups like Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter donating $5 million to LGBTQ+ youth. Right now, I can’t seem to let go.
And I am doing some of the things I set out to do in place of social media.
The kids and I have volunteered at Green Power Garden, a small farm that grows produce exclusively for The Hope Center, whose mission is to the risks of poverty by helping people in Waukesha County meet basic needs. We’ll be back soon to check on how the watermelon, squash and cucumber we planted are coming along.
I’ve been writing, calling and emailing my congresspeople almost every day. The issues I’ve raised most often recently have been the big, bad budget bill and ICE and Border Patrol abuses and violations. If this is something you’d like to start, check out the 5calls app or Chop Wood, Carry Water Daily Actions for the most pressing issues to talk to your elected officials about.
No Kings Day protests resounded around the country and I was there with my sign and my sunscreen. Remember, large scale protests don’t always lead to immediate change, but being out in the street saying this is not okay gives others the courage to do the same.
I’m giving my kids a memorable summer of watermelon, sprinklers and so much ice cream while staying open and honest in response their questions about what’s happening in the world. My son’s heart is heavy; last night he cried in bed next to me for the unfairness of what’s happening to families in our country. Even though I shield him from the worst of it, he is quick to grasp even the snippets of information and conversations that float his way. Looking for a game on my phone recently, he asked “What’s ICE Block?” I said, “Buddy that’s so we can help others know when there are people around that might want to arrest them for being from a different country. It can help people stay safe.” Am I doing this right? Is there even a right way?
On our front window, I hung a simple sign that reads “A change will come.” I believe it. I have to. For them, for everyone. My son said through his tears, “When I grow up I’m going to be the president so I can make sure nothing bad happens to people ever again.” Every time I walk out into the garden there is something new in bloom.
I love this and I can definitely relate. Be kind to yourself.
You are doing more than most. Calling people, protesting, canvassing..all with young children in your care and a career. Bravo to you. A change will come…eventually. It has to because nothing stays the same.